I'm Coming Home
by miSSmeliSS1324124
Summary: Kendall has lived a long time and according to his family he has made alot of mistakes in his life. As Kendall reflects on his past he doesn't see them as mistakes but just him keeping a promise to the love of his life. rated M for a reason!


**A/N: Hello, hello. So I was reading through it and the mistakes in it were bothering me so I edited this again. There are changes throughout more specifically at the end. I added more to Kendall's death because it was way too rushed. When I first wrote this I was just trying to get it done so I rushed through the end. I also added some bonus stuff at the end. I didn't really think there was a good place in the story to add it so I just threw it onto the end. So read through if you'd like. =]**

"Excuse me Mr. Knight your family is here to see you." Kendall waved at the young nurse signaling that his family could be brought in. He had been expecting them since they made sure to visit the nursing home three times a week. He still wasn't on the best of terms with all of them but they were family and they believed they had an obligation to the elderly man. When Kendall could hear the sounds of young voices approaching he took his cane and stood up using his aging wobbly legs. He was a far cry from the young singing popstar and every day he wanted to go back to those times. Before the love of his life died.

"Grandpa!" A young girl with golden hair detached herself from her sister's side and ran over to the elderly man. She was far too young to understand that Kendall was now a fragile man but it wasn't a problem because she was far too young and small to do any damage. The young girl stopped once she reached Kendall and hugged his leg. He couldn't help but smile at the pure innocence that radiated of off her.

"It's so good to see you Julia. I hope you're doing well." When she pulled away Julia smiled brightly and nodded her head.

"Yep me and Cecilia have been waiting all week to come see you right Cecilia."

"Yea… sure." Kendall's smile fell slightly at his older granddaughter's tone. She wasn't a child anymore and it wasn't long before she learned the reason why a family fell to pieces. Ever since that day she had resented Kendall but Kendall knew she was far too young to understand the true reason. His daughter finally understood and that was enough.

"Will you be needing anything Mr. Knight?" Kendall turned towards the nurse with a smile. A long time ago there was so much more meaning behind it.

"Some juice for the children will be nice." The nurse nodded and left the room. As soon as she was out of sight Kendall let out a sigh and walked over to one of the tables. He hadn't been standing to long but he was already tired. That was to be expected of a ninety year old man. "So Cecilia, how is your first year of high school going?"

"Fine but I doubt you care."

"C don't be mean to grandpa!" Kendall chuckled and patted on his lap so Julia could sit with him. She was a stubborn one just like Kendall was. They both were.

"Don't worry your pretty little head Julia." Kendall turned away from Julia and gave a serious look at Cecilia who was glaring at him from across the table. "So where is your mother today?"

"She couldn't come."

"Why are you here?" Cecilia looked slightly insulted by Kendall's tone.

"Even with the mistakes of your past you're still my grandfather." Kendall let out a sigh and shook his head.

"Mistakes… you've been spending too much time with your grandmother. She resents me for my decisions but I promise you those were not mistakes." Cecilia stood up suddenly with a disgusted look.

"How can you defend what you did! You ripped our family apart because you couldn't let go!"

"You'll understand one day." Cecilia's anger softened. Her mother had said the same thing to her every time the past had come up. She didn't know why everyone kept saying that but she knew they were wrong. She would never understand. Cecilia sat back down when she noticed Kendall was smiling softly will looking off into the distance. This was another thing that always happened when the past was brought up. Kendall would stop for a moment to look back on all of his fond memories. Cecilia sat back down slowly and let out a sigh.

"Help me understand." Kendall snapped out of his thoughts and gave her a questioning look.

"What do you mean?"

"I've heard grandma's side. I want to hear yours. It's time you told me about Logan." Kendall sat back in his chair and stared at his granddaughter for a long time. Logan was on his mind every second of ever day but it's been a long time since he's talked about Logan to anyone. Except for James and Carlos but that was different. They both knew him.

"Ok." Kendall helped Julia off his lap so she could sit on the other side of the table with Cecilia. They were both staring at him intently waiting for the age old story that was a gift and a curse to their family. "But before I tell you my side of mine and your Grandma Jo's divorce you need to understand the reason behind it. You need to know the person behind it all. From the moment his life with me started… to the moment it ended." Cecilia nodded and leaned her elbows against the table. Whether she agreed with Kendall or not this was going to be interesting.

"Where does the story begin grandpa?" Kendall smiled at Julia and took in a breath.

"That would be 76 years ago. That was the first time I met Logan."

76 years ago:

"Come on Carlos we're going to be late!" Kendall and James stood at the exit of the locker rooms waiting for their best friend Carlos to come out. It was the first open rink night for the hockey try outs and both James and Kendall couldn't wait to get on the ice.

"I'm coming!" Carlos ran out of the locker room with his skates in hand. The three boys were each wearing warm sweats, gloves, and hats. It wasn't a try out day so they didn't need any hockey gear. Today was just a chance for everyone to get a chance on the ice. And a chance for players to show off for the coaches.

"Do you think we're ready Kendall?" When they finished putting on their skates the three boys made their way over to the ice. The closer they got the more dread could be seen in James' eyes. Carlos stepped onto the ice and was off within seconds. He was a natural ice skater so he wasn't worried. James and Kendall had to practice a little more but now they were both good as well. Kendall patted James' shoulder reassuringly and gave him a confident smile.

"Don't worry James we are definitely ready for this." James took in a deep breath and nodded. He gave Kendall a confident smile before stepping onto the ice with Kendall right behind him. They acted like it was any other day on the ice to keep their nerves at bay but once they spotted the coaches watching intently some of their nerves returned.

"Do you think we have a chance? I mean we're only freshman." Carlos stopped skating to look around at all the competition. Their high school wasn't very large so he was able to recognize most of the kids. From what he could tell Kendall, James, and himself were the only freshmen. "I don't even think there are any other freshmen here."

"What about him?" Kendall and Carlos turned in the direction James was pointing to see a small boy with dark hair. It was obvious that he's never skated before and the kids around him were quickly taking notice of that.

"Yea he's a freshman. He's in choir with us. I didn't know he skated." The dark haired boy moved away from the wall only to fall flat on his back. It didn't sit right with Kendall that all the kids were laughing at him so he quickly moved to the boy who still hadn't managed to get up yet. "You need help?" Because Kendall distracted him from trying to balance the boy fell down once again. His cheeks were a bright red color but Kendall knew it wasn't from the cold. Kendall reached his hand out and took the boys arm to help him up. When he was finally on his feet they locked eyes.

"T-thanks."

"No problem… so, what's your name?"

"Logan." Kendall smiled and offered Logan his hand.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Kendall. I think we have choir together." Logan nodded his head and smiled back at Kendall. After a while they realized they had just been holding hands and staring at each other. They immediately pulled away and began blushing furiously. "So… why are you trying out for hockey?" Logan let out a long sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yea you must be wondering why someone who sucks at skating is trying out for hockey."

"I don't think you stink." Logan gave Kendall a sad smile.

"You don't have to be nice to me. You can be honest. Everyone else is." Kendall looked around noticing that people were still snickering. He didn't know why but it pissed him off. He didn't like how everyone was treating his new friend.

"Don't pay attention to them you just need practice. How about I teach you? Tryouts aren't until next week." Kendall couldn't help but laugh when Logan stared at him like he had six heads. He couldn't believe that he had been ignoring this kid this whole time. If he knew there was someone like Logan out there he would have talked to them a long time ago.

"You don't have to…" Kendall grabbed Logan's wrist and began pulling him towards James and Carlos. He had to skate a little slower to avoid Logan falling over but eventually he made it to his two friends.

"Logan this is James and Carlos. James and Carlos this is Logan." James and Carlos each shook Logan's hand. After talking for a few seconds James and Carlos went back to skating while Kendall skated slowly next to Logan. "You didn't answer my question." Logan glanced at Kendall for a second before going back to watching his feet.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you trying out for hockey?"

"Oh well… my parents thought it would be good for me to get in some extracurricular activities. They don't want me cooped up all day."

"So they made you try out for the hockey team?"

"Not exactly. They made me try out for a team but I picked. Hockey is really all math if you think about it. The only problem is putting the math into…" Logan yelped and fell backwards. Kendall tried to stop him from falling but all he really did was get pulled down as well. "Ow… practice." Logan stood as quickly as he could and helped Kendall up. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"Hey Kendall!" James and Carlos skated over. "Open rink is almost over you coming." Kendall glanced back at Logan for a second then smiled.

"No I'll see you guys later." They both nodded and moved towards the exit. Kendall looked around and noticed the last of the students were leaving. Even the coaches were gone already. He turned back to Logan and offered him his hand. "Why don't we practice some more." Logan hesitated for a moment before taking Kendall's hand. When Kendall squeezed his hand Logan couldn't help but blush. Kendall pulled them more towards the center of the rink and moved in large circle.

"Slow down Kendall!" Logan began to wobble and was moving his free hand frantically trying to keep his balance. Kendall grabbed his other hand and stopped so Logan could regain his balance.

"Don't worry I've got you." Logan smiled and blushed deeply. He took in a breath and nodded his head signaling for Kendall to continue. Kendall began to skate backwards while he held both of Logan's hands. "Keep your head up." Logan lifted his head but couldn't help but glance back down at his feet. "How are you going to avoid the apposing team if you're watching your feet?" Logan pouted at Kendall making him laugh. It took a while but eventually Logan was skating without much help from Kendall.

"This is starting to get easy."

"Ok then let go of my hand." Logan tightened his grip on Kendall's hand and shook his head wildly. "Come on I can't hold your hand forever." Logan hesitantly released Kendall's hand but kept his arm up just in case he needed the contact again. Kendall couldn't help but miss the warm contact but when Logan finally relaxed he knew it was the right decision. Soon he was skating right alongside Kendall. When they finally realized how late it was they moved off the ice. "See, I told you, you just needed practice." Logan chuckled and nodded his head.

"Yea thanks Kendall… for everything. Maybe we can hang out again?" Kendall smiled and ruffled Logan's hair.

"I'd love to Logie. James, Carlos, and I are hanging out tomorrow. You should come."

"Yea that would be great… did you call me Logie?" Kendall laughed nervously and blushed.

"You don't mind do you?" Logan shook his head smiling. It was so strange to have someone like Kendall. Kendall was honestly the first friend he's had in a long time. He was happy he met him.

After they exchanged numbers Kendall and Logan both went home.

Present time:

"Logan became one of my best friends after that. James, Carlos, Logan and I all made the hockey team and ever since then we were completely inseparable." Kendall's story of the old days had begun to gather a small audience. Other residence of the nursing home and their families were sitting by and listening as he talked about the past. The only one who looked unimpressed was Cecilia.

"So you met Logan ice skating and became instant friends, so what?"

"It wasn't just that. Never in my life was I so instantly connected to someone. The emotions I felt for Logan were so strong. It wasn't until a few years later though that I acted on those feelings."

"Yea and that was the first time you broke grandma's heart." Kendall sighed heavily and readjusted in his chair. He couldn't lie; back when he was a teenager Jo had been heartbroken but she also understood what Logan meant to him.

"Our break up wasn't what you think it was. We all know that being gay in the public eye isn't easy. Logan was scared, I was scared. We were afraid of what our feelings would do but Jo allowed me to see that it was ok. She was sad that our relationship ended but she was happy Logan and I were finally together.

74 years ago:

Kendall opened his eyes and couldn't help but smile. Logan was curled into his side with his face hidden in Kendall's chest. Logan looked so peaceful and so beautiful he thought he could lay in his bed forever. Kendall lifted his hand and rubbed Logan's head. He didn't mean to wake Logan up but after a few minutes Logan's eyes fluttered open.

"That feels nice." Kendall chuckled and moved his hand to cup Logan's face.

"You're not going to start purring are you?"

"Shut up I only did that once." Kendall laughed and pulled Logan into a soft kiss. When they pulled away Logan sat up and stretched his muscles. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Pool?" Logan nodded and moved to climb out of bed but Kendall grabbed his waist and pulled him back down.

"Kendaaaall!"

"Logaaaaan!" Logan rolled his eyes but couldn't stop the smile that came to his face. He wouldn't mind staying in bed with Kendall all day but their relationship was still hidden from everyone.

"Come on we have to get up." Logan kissed Kendall deeply and used the distraction to climb out of bed. He rolled his eyes at Kendall's pout and threw his pillow at him. "Enough with the face get up!"

"Alright, alright." Kendall climbed out of bed and followed Logan towards the bathroom. He went to walk in with him but Logan turned around and placed his hand on Kendall's chest.

"Don't even think about it babe." Logan closed the door and locked it.

"Oh come on you act like I've never seen you naked!"

"You haven't!"

"That's what you think!" Logan opened the bathroom door so he could glare at Kendall.

"You better be kidding." Kendall chuckled and ruffled Logan's hair.

"Of course dear." Logan continued to glare at Kendall for a moment but eventually gave up. When Logan closed the door Kendall changed into swim trunks and went to the kitchen. It was already pretty late in the morning so James and Carlos were already awake.

"Hey James and I are going to the pool you coming."

"Yea we just have to wait for Logan." Carlos nodded and went back to eating. When Logan came out ten minutes later they waited for him to eat a quick breakfast before they were all heading to the pool.

"Slow down James we don't have to run."

"What! Logan this is prime sun tanning time. We have to hurry!" Kendall, Carlos, and Logan laughed as they watched their friend run ahead of them. When they reached the pool they took their usual spots and used this time to relax.

"Cannon ball!" Carlos jumped into the pool splashing water everywhere. It was an often occurrence so everyone who had been at the Palm Woods long enough knew to get out of the way. Kendall laughed as his friends antics and laid down in the lounge chair next to Logan. It was one of those times that silence was appreciated. They spent most of the time enjoying each other's presence while allowing a few words every now and then. The usual issues and stressors of their everyday lives could be forgotten here.

"Hey Kendall." Kendall sat up when he heard his girlfriend's voice. She was a sweet girl and Kendall felt bad for betraying her but he wasn't ready for the risk of people finding out about his relationship with Logan.

"Hey." Jo smiled and sat down on the chair by Kendall's feet. Kendall didn't miss the way Logan tensed when Jo reached her hand out and placed it on his Kendall's leg. He quickly gave Logan a reassuring smile before turning back to Jo who suddenly had a serious expression.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Kendall nodded and got up to follow Jo. He spared a glance at Logan who was watching him with sad eyes. That was another thing he hated. Logan tried to hide his jealously but Kendall could always see how much it hurt to see him with Jo.

When Jo and Kendall reached the lobby they moved to a table and sat down. Jo reached across the table and took Kendall's hands in hers before she let out a long sigh. "You really love him don't you?"

"What… who are you talking about?" Jo chuckled and gave Kendall a knowing look. She wasn't as stupid as the others. She could see the looks the two boys gave to each other. She always saw the love in Kendall's eyes whenever he was with Logan. It wasn't the same when it came to her.

"I know you love Logan. I can see it when you look at him." Jo looked down at their hands and lifted her hand to lightly pat his. "Logan loves you too so you should be with him." Kendall squeezed Jo's hand. He could tell this was hurting her but he knew she was right.

"Thank you Jo. It's nice to know you support us." Jo smiled and released Kendall's hand. She stood up and grabbed Kendall by the arm to pull him out of the seat as well.

"Go get your man Kendall." Jo chuckled as she pushed Kendall towards the entrance of the pool. He looked back at her for a second before taking a breath and walking away from her. Kendall went straight over to Logan smiling down at his peaceful form.

"Logan." Logan opened his eyes and smiled as soon as he saw Kendall. He couldn't help but notice the mischievous confidence hidden behind his smirk.

"Kendall what are you…" Kendall grabbed Logan's hand and pulled him into a standing position. He wrapped his arm around Logan's waist so they were standing chest to chest then used his other hand to cup Logan's check. "What are you doing?"

"I can't hide it anymore." Logan gasped when Kendall connected their lips. He wasn't sure if he would get past the shock in time to enjoy it but when Kendall forcefully parted his lips he couldn't stop from melting into Kendall's embrace. They no longer cared that everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch them. They ignored all the aw's and whistling and only paid attention to each other. They could finally be together so that was all that mattered.

Present time:

"Logan became the light of my life. He was my soul mate. There wasn't anything more in this life that I wanted. Logan was all I needed."

"Why didn't you break up with Jo as soon as you realized your feelings for Logan?"Kendall and Cecilia glanced toward an older woman who was sitting at one of the other tables. She looked to be somewhere in her 30's so she was too young to have been around during Big Time Rush's time.

"We were young. We or rather I was afraid of what something like that could do to my life. We would risk ruining the band and losing our fans." Cecilia sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Was that the only reason? You didn't want to look bad."

"Not at all. Logan was the type of person who took things to heart. He couldn't handle the types of things people filled with hate would say. He didn't want to be considered a freak and neither did I." Kendall looked down at the table and let out a sigh. "If only we knew how trivial that was compared to what was to come in the future."

"How old was he…? When he died?"

"Logan died three years later so he was 19. We all thought it was nothing to worry about but we were so wrong."

71 years ago:

Kendall found himself waking up in the middle of the night and not sure why. He glanced at the clock and groaned when he realized the blinking numbers read 4:35 am. Kendall tried to get more comfortable so he could go back to sleep but then he suddenly noticed the lack of warmth next to him. He sat up and looked around the dark room until he noticed the bathroom light was on. Kendall laid back down deciding that Logan was just using the bathroom but he suddenly heard a retching sound.

"Logan?" Kendall swiftly climbed out of bed and staggered over to the bathroom door. When he looked inside Logan was sitting on the floor next to the toilet. His face was pale and he had a grimace on his face. Kendall grabbed a paper towel and wet it before he sat down and wiped Logan's face. "My poor baby. Are you ok?" Kendall pulled Logan closer to him and allowed him to lean against his chest. He rubbed his side soothingly and occasionally ran his fingers through Logan's hair.

"Yea. I just haven't felt that great lately."

"You've been getting sick a lot. Maybe you should go see a doctor?" Logan shook his head and pulled away from Kendall. He slowly stood up and had to wait for a wave of dizziness to go away before responding.

"I'm sure I'm fine Kendall you don't have to…" Logan's eyes widened before he knelt back over the toilet and began throwing up again. Kendall rubbed circles in his back until Logan didn't have anything left. As soon as he was done Kendall helped him up and wiped his mouth again. "God, that was horrible."

"Ok you are going to the doctor. Right now let's just go back to bed.

"Ok." Kendall led Logan back to bed and laid down next to him. He made sure Logan was comfortable before they both went to sleep.

…..

"Ok boys Kelly should be here to get you any minute so behave. I'm going with Logan to the doctor and we should be here by the time you get back." Kendall, James, and Carlos nodded while Mrs. Knight finished getting ready to leave. "Ok Logan lets go." Logan let out a sigh as he walked toward the door with a pout. Kendall shook his head at him and grabbed him around the waist from behind.

"I would think the future Dr. Logan Mitchell would like going to the doctor."

"No, being a doctor and going to the doctor are two different things." Kendall shook his head and turned Kendall around so he could give him a soft kiss. When they pulled apart Logan nuzzled Kendall's nose.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Logan stepped away from Kendall and left the apartment with Mrs. Knight. The three boys left in the apartment finished getting ready before it was time for them to leave. When they reached the lobby Kelly was there waiting for them.

"Where's Logan?"

"He's sick so my mom is taking him to the doctor." Kelly nodded and whipped out her phone to text Gustavo ahead of time. She learned by now that she shouldn't tell him stuff like this face to face. They all climbed into the limo and talked all the way to Rocque Records. Gustavo was already waiting for them when they got inside and he didn't look to happy.

"Dogs! Since we are short one dog you'll be doing harmonies and practicing your dance moves! Move it!" Carlos, James, and Kendall groaned as they made their way into the recording booth. They shouldn't be surprised that Gustavo wasn't going to be easy on them today.

"Man Logan's so lucky he doesn't have to be here." James huffed as he flipped his hair out of his eyes. Carlos and Kendall both nodded in agreement before Gustavo yelled to get their attention.

"Alright dogs let's get this party started!"

…

"Not good enough again!" Kendall, James, and Carlos groaned out of exhaustion. They had been working for almost two hours and they didn't know how much longer they could last.

"Come on Gustavo we can't take much more of this!"

"What did I say about talking back Kendall!" Kendall rolled his eyes and was about say something else but Kelly stopped him.

"Ok, ok why don't you boys take a short break?" The three boys were out of the sound booth in seconds. It was a welcomed relief to be in the open rather than a cramped small space. Before they could even think of doing anything Kendall felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out of his pocket and furrowed his eyebrows when he realized it was his mom.

"Hello?"

"_Hey Kendall its mom. Listen I'm on my way to come get you boys so be outside."_

"Um… ok." Before Kendall could ask anything Mrs. Knight hung up. Kendall closed his phone suddenly filled with worry. All he knew was that Logan's been sick and his mom sounded worried.

"Who was that?" James asked.

"It was my mom. She said she is on her way to get us."

"What!" Before Gustavo could blow a gasket Kelly stepped in front of him so a fight wouldn't break out.

"Did she say why?" Kendall shook his head and swallowed hard.

"No but… what if it's Logan." Carlos and James looked at each other before grabbing their stuff and heading toward the door. When they all got outside Mrs. Knight was waiting for them. "Mom, what's going on?" She waited for them to get in the car and quickly drove forward. She let out a shaky sigh and ran her fingers through her hair.

"When we were at the Doctor's office they told Logan there was something wrong with his blood work. They were afraid it could be something serious." Kendall felt his chest tighten and his heart begin to race.

"Where is he?"

"He's at home. We should be getting the test results by tomorrow but you know Logan. He's freaking out." Kendall nodded and turned his attention towards the road and willed the car to move faster. He should have known better. He should have gone with Logan. If something is seriously wrong Kendall couldn't stand the thought of Logan being scared and alone.

When they pulled into the Palm Woods parking lot Kendall was the first one out of the car. He sprinted through the lobby and ran up the stairs with James and Carlos right behind him. When they reached the apartment no one was inside. Kendall quickly walked over to his and Logan's room and found Logan sitting on his bed. He seemed to be staring off into space but as soon as he realized Kendall was home Logan shot up and pulled him into a hug. Kendall wrapped his arms tightly around Logan and kissed the side of his head. He knew there wasn't much he could do to calm Logan's worries. Kendall could only offer him a small comfort.

"There might be something seriously wrong."

"I'm sure everything will be ok." Logan leaned his forehead against Kendall's.

"Are you sure?" Kendall hesitated for a moment not sure what he should say. There was a chance that Logan was very sick but he knew he had to stay hopeful. It was too early to give up and he wasn't going to let Logan give up either.

"Yea I'm sure."

Present Time:

"What did he have?"

"The Doctors were never completely sure. For some reason Logan's immune system kept getting weaker and weaker until it just shut down. I think that's what scared us the most. Logan was dying and we didn't even know what was killing him."

"That's so horrible." Cecilia dropped her gaze before speaking again. "How did he react?" Kendall let out a sigh and shook his head.

"I could never forget the hopelessness and fear in his eyes."

71 years ago:

Everyone was sitting in the kitchen absolutely silent. They were still waiting for the call that would either set their lives back to normal or change their lives forever. Kendall was rubbing Logan's hand as he held it tightly. Every now and then he would feel Logan squeeze his hand so he would squeeze right back. When the phone finally rang no one moved. Mrs. Knight was the first to get up but Logan stopped her.

"I-I'll get it." Mrs. Knight nodded and slowly sat down as she watched Logan walk over to the phone. He took in a shaky breath before answering.

"Hello?" Logan paused.

"Hi Dr. Morgan. Have you gotten the test back?" Kendall held his breath as he watched Logan. He wasn't facing them so he had no idea what his expression was like.

"What does that mean?" Kendall, James, and Carlos looked at each other before going back to watching Logan.

"Is there anything… I-I understand." The next two words were the beginning of the end for Kendall.

"How Long?" Logan said goodbye before hanging up the phone. He didn't turn to face the others but simply stood completely still. After a few minutes Kendall, James, Carlos, and Mrs. Knight got up from the couched and walked over to Logan. When Kendall reached him he cupped his face and locked eyes. Logan's eyes seemed fogged over. They were filled with so much fear, hopelessness, and regret Kendall felt a chill run down his spin.

"Logie what did he say?" Kendall could feel his eyes brimming with tears when Logan didn't answer. When Kendall began rubbing Logan's cheek with his thumb Logan reached his hand up and tightly gripped Kendall's hand. When Kendall felt Logan's tears hitting his hand he couldn't stop the tears either. "Is it bad?" Logan let out a small sob as he nodded his head. "Is there anything we can do?" Tears streamed down Logan's face unchecked as he shook his head. Kendall began to cry as well as he pulled Logan into a tight embrace. Within seconds there were two more bodies surrounding the two boys. The apartment was filled with no other sounds but the small sobs coming from the four boys. They tried to get comfort from holding on to each other but true comfort wouldn't come.

Present time:

When Kendall paused the whole room remand silent. Cecilia noticed small whimpers coming from her younger sister Julia so she placed her on her lap and began to play with Julia's hair. She had to admit this wasn't what she was expecting. Cecilia's grandmother never told her about Logan. The circumstances around his death were so sad but that wasn't the problem here. The problem was the circumstances around a divorce and they haven't gotten to that yet.

"How long did he have?" Kendall let out a sigh and took a moment to collect himself. He spent a lot of his time avoiding those memories; the bad ones. Even after all these years it took almost all of his strength to avoid breaking down. He could only imagine how he would be when he was forced to face Logan's death again.

"The Doctors didn't know. It depended on the rate of Logan's declining health. The most he could have lived was a few years but he only lived for 6 months after he was first diagnosed."

71 years ago:

Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan tried to continue with their lives but Logan always felt death hanging over his head. Logan continued working as long as he could with his three friends but the more time that went on the worse his health got. After months of holding on Logan couldn't fight anymore.

Kendall, James, Carlos, Mrs. Knight and Katie were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital as they waited to hear about Logan. While they were doing harmonies Logan vomited and past out. Kendall had never seen Logan look so sickly and when they pulled him through the double doors he wondered if he would ever see Logan again. When a doctor finally came out Kendall knew from her grim expression that it was one of those times doctors hated.

"Logan Mitchell?" They all stood and walked over to the doctor.

"Yes, I'm his guardian. How is he?" Mrs. Knight wrapped her arm around Katie and kept her close. She wanted to offer the young girl as much comfort as she could but she also needed the comfort as well. The doctor let out a sigh and held her clipboard close to her chest.

"I'm afraid he isn't doing well. Without his body's immune system he's shutting down. I'm sorry but there isn't much we can do for him. I suggest you take him home so he can be somewhere comfortable… when he passes."

"Ok… thank you doctor."

"Logan will be coming out with a nurse in a moment." Mrs. Knight nodded as the doctor walked away. She quickly wiped her tears before she embraced Katie in a tight hug as she silently sobbed. She wished there was more she could do for her children but this wasn't something simple like a toy breaking or a lost puppy. Their brother was dying.

"This isn't fair." Carlos covered his mouth to silence his loud sobs. He could feel Kendall and James arms wrap around him and it made him realize what his future was going to be like. Two comforting arms instead of three.

Kendall spotted Logan first. He wiped his eyes and forced a smile as he walked over to greet him. He wasn't as pale as he was before but he wasn't the Logan he used to be.

"Hey babe." Kendall leaned down and kissed Logan's forehead. He couldn't help but notice he was colder then usually and it killed him inside. "You ready to go home." Logan took Kendall's hand in his and nodded. James took control of the wheelchair and pushed him towards the exit. He was a small effort to get Logan into the car but considering that he had lost a lot of weight recently he weighed almost nothing. Kendall climbed into the car next to Logan and pulled him close. He kissed the top of his head and ran his fingers through his hair as they silently waited to return home. "You ok Logie." He Knew it was a stupid question but he didn't know was else he could say.

Logan looked up and softly kissed Kendall's lips. "I'm just happy I'm with you." Logan tried his best to smile but he couldn't manage it. He was tired and his body ached. He never thought that all his dreaming and hard work would go to waste but now that his days were numbered it hit him hard. The worst though was the unknown. He was more afraid then ever and he didn't want to think about being without his family; without Kendall.

…

A week past since Logan's hospital visit and James, Carlos, and Kendall haven't let his side. He kept deteriorating until the point that he couldn't even get out of bed anymore. He wasn't eating and water didn't stay down for too long. Kendall tried to make everything as comfortable as he could for Logan but all he really wanted was for Kendall to stay by his side.

Kendall glanced at the clock that read 3:36am. He was sitting on the floor with James and Carlos as he ran his fingers through Logan's hair. His other hand was gripping Logan's as he raised Logan's hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles. The room was completely silent except for the small whimpers and stuttered breaths.

"Remember when we snuck out to go to Rachael Sims party."Kendall, Carlos, and Logan turned to James as he stared off into space. Carlos wiped his eyes and let out a sad laugh.

"Yea that was our first girl/boy party. Our parents said we were too young to go but we tricked them into thinking we were sleeping at each other's houses."

"I… I told you guys we would get caught." Kendall kissed Logan's hand and rubbed his cheek. He wiped his eyes and smiled.

"Yea Logie… I guess that was the start of us not listening to you." Logan smiled but it fell when he was hit with a wave of pain. He tried to pass it off but James, Kendall, and Carlos still noticed.

"We probably wouldn't have gotten caught if Carlos didn't break the TV. Rachael's dad called all our parents because of that." Normally Carlos would have argued with James about that but he just couldn't get himself to do it. He wiped his tears away and tried his best to hold off his sobs.

"We had such great times… I just wished it wasn't ending." Carlos paused for a second before continuing. "We'll all be together again right?" Carlos looked up when he felt a hand on his. When he realized it was Logan's hand Carlos squeezed it as tightly as he could.

"Of course we will Carlos." Carlos let out a small sob and got up so he could give Logan a hug. He held him tightly wishing he never had to pull away.

"I love you Logie. You'll always be my brother."

"I love you to Carlos." When Carlos moved James took his place. Tears were streaming down his face unchecked as he cried into Logan's shoulder.

"I don't know what we'll do without you Logan. We're not the same when it's just three of us." Logan let out a small sob as James pulled away.

"I'm going to miss you too James." When James moved back to his spot on the floor Kendall retook his spot next to Logan.

An hour passed and even with James and Carlos' best attempts to stay awake they both fell asleep. Kendall moved from sitting on the floor to lying on the bed with Logan curled into his side. Tears we streaming down his face unchecked as Logan seemed to drift farther and farther away.

"When…" Logan took in a deep breath. "When I told C-Carlos I would see him again I wasn't sure but I would like to think we'll be together again." Kendall let out a sob and nodded his head.

"I love you so much L-Logan."

"I l-love you too." Logan looked up at Kendall and reached up his hand to wipe a tear off his cheek. "Promise me… promise me you won't forget about me Kendall." Kendall cupped Logan's face and gave him his best smile.

"I could never forget you Logan. You're my soul mate. I love you and I'll love you forever." Logan dropped his hand back down and took in a deep breath.

"Thank you Kendall. I love you too. I always will." Logan laid his head against Kendall chest. He didn't have the strength to keep it up anymore. Kendall continued to run his fingers through Logan's hair as his eyes began to droop. Without another word Kendall and Logan fell asleep in each other's arms and when James, Carlos, and Kendall woke up the next morning Logan was gone.

Present time:

"Excuse me for a moment." Kendall stood slowly and hobbled over to the window. His sudden audience all seemed to take in a breath at once as they wiped the tears that had accumulated. Cecilia didn't bother to wipe her tears as she watched her grandfather standing by the window. Kendall took in a few deep breaths as he raised a shaky hand to wipe his tears away. He reached into his pocket and smiled sadly at the picture he pulled out. It was a picture right after Big Time Rush's first concert. The four boys were so happy. Kendall couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that they were still sweaty from running from all those girls.

Kendall and James were in the middle while Carlos and Logan were on the sides. Kendall traced his aged fingers over Logan's form wishing that he was here with him. He wished he could hold him tightly to his side like he used to back then. He wished their lives together hadn't been so short.

"Are you ok grandpa?" Kendall turned around to find Cecilia watching him with a worried expression. He let out a sigh and walked over to her so he could place his hand on her head.

"I'm fine." Kendall walked back over to the table with Cecilia right behind him. When he sat down everyone's attention was immediately on him again.

"What happened to the band after that?"

"Well… there was no band after that. Carlos, James, and I packed our things and went back home. Logan's death hit us hard so all those memories we made were too much for us."

"What happened to all your friends?"

"We still kept in touch. Camille took Logan's death as hard as James, Carlos, and I but she didn't falter. She became an award winning actress and when it came time to except her first Oscar she thanked Logan and she said she hoped she made him proud." Kendall let out a sad sigh. "Camille lived to the age of 83."

"When did you reconnect with grandma?"

"That was when I was 30. By then James had moved back to LA to pursue his solo career while Carlos and I stayed back home to play for the Minnesota Wilds. Jo was at one of the games and it just happened from there. The one thing she just could never handle was the fact that Logan was still number one in my heart.

60 years ago:

"Great game Carlos." Kendall patted Carlos' shoulder as he passed him in the locker room. This had been their fifth game of the season and so far they were undefeated.

"Thanks man you too. You were on fire today Kendall." Kendall chuckled as he began to pull of his gear.

"We were both on fire. Even after years of not playing you and I never lost our edge."

"You got that right!" They both laughed as they continued to get changed. When all of their other teammates were gone the locker room was dead silent. "So how are things with Jo?" Kendall stopped what he was doing for a moment and let out a sigh. "Bad huh?"

"She just doesn't understand."

"Well you should expect her to be surprised when she realizes you're in love with someone who isn't even alive anymore." Kendall and Carlos both fell into a depressing silence. "It's been 11 years and I still can't forget the pain." Kendall nodded as he threw on his shirt.

"And Jo can't understand that I can't forget Logan. I care for her but I made it clear from the beginning that he was still number one in my heart and he always will be. I promised Logan I would never forget him and even if I didn't promise I still would never forget him." Carlos nodded his head in understanding.

"I get it man but now Jo is your fiancée. She is going to start demanding a lot more things from you so it's going to be tough." Carlos swung his bag over his shoulder and placed his hand on Kendall's shoulder. "Just remember that you have friends. I'm here for you buddy and so is James, who is coming to visit in a week." Kendall smiled and grabbed his bag as well.

"Yea it's going to be great to see him again. It's been so long." Kendall said goodbye to Carlos before he walked toward his car. He climbed in and quickly pulled out of the parking lot so he could get home as soon as he could. Kendall and Jo just moved into a new house and they still had some unpacking to do. When he pulled up to the house Jo's car wasn't in the driveway. Kendall let out a sigh and quickly made the trek to his front door. Since Jo wasn't home yet he was going to have to do the rest of the unpacking himself. He was just happy there were only a few boxes left.

Kendall put his bag and his coat in the hall closet before he walked into the kitchen and began unpacking all of the plates and other kitchen wear. Once he was done he walked into the master bedroom and unpacked the rest of his things. He put his clothes in the closet along with his shoes and extra hockey gear. When he came to the last box it was filled with pictures of family and friends. Kendall began placing them on his nightstand while taking a second to look at each of them. The first was a picture of himself with his mother and sister. It reminded him that he had to call Katie and congratulate her for the new baby. The next picture was one of himself and Carlos at their first hockey practice. They tried to hide their excitement from the older players but it was completely obvious. The next picture was of James, Carlos, Kendall and Logan. It was Kendall's favorite picture and he often carried it with him when he needed an extra confidence bust. He had it with him during the Minnesota Wilds try outs and when he applied to college. It always reminded him of how hard he worked to make his dreams come true and that as long as he never gave up he could make something of himself.

When Kendall pulled out the last picture he held it in his hands for a long time. It was a picture of him and Logan. They were 17 in the picture and it was the night of their one year anniversary. To be honest it was one of the best nights of Kendall's life.

13 years ago:

Kendall awoke to the feel of soft lips on his. He smiled into the kiss and lifted his hand to the back of Logan's head so he could immediately deepen it. When Logan pulled away Kendall leaned up to attach his lips again but Logan stopped him.

"Easy there tiger." Logan chuckled at Kendall's pout and leaned down to peck Kendall's lips. "Happy anniversary." Kendall smiled and sat up. He wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and leaned their foreheads together.

"Happy anniversary Logan." Logan smiled and jumped out of bed. He pulled Kendall up with him and wrapped his arms around his torso.

"So what are we doing today?" Kendall looked up for a moment seemingly deep in thought.

"I don't know."

"Yes you do."

"Maybe."

"And you're not going to tell me?" Kendall looked back down at Logan with a huge smirk on his face. He laughed at Logan's pout before leaning forward and kissing him softly.

"Get ready we have to leave soon." Logan let out a sigh and pulled away from Kendall to walk into the bathroom. He hated when Kendall kept their dates secret from him but he also loved it at the same time. Logan took a quick shower and got dressed. By the time he was completely done Kendall was in the living room waiting for him.

"You ready to go?" Kendall nodded and took Logan's hand in his. They left the apartment and walked through the lobby. They passed by Camille and Jo as well as James and Carlos. When they reached the car Kendall took the car keys from Logan.

"I'm driving."

"Let me guess… so I won't know where we're going."

"Yep." Logan shook his head and climbed into the passenger seat. After 30 minutes of driving Logan was starting to get bored.

"Are we almost there?" Kendall glanced away from the road for a second so he could smirk at Logan.

"We'll be there soon."

"If you gave me a destination I would have a better idea of how long it would take us to get there."

"Nice try but no." Logan let out a sigh and looked out the window. The farther they drove the less people they saw. The road was almost completely empty and it was already starting to get late in the day. After another hour their car was the only one on the road. Logan shifted in his seat and let out a long sigh.

"Kendaaaall where are we going!" Kendall let out a laugh and took one hand off the wheel to hold Logan's

"5 more minutes Logie." Logan let out an annoyed sound making Kendall laugh again.

"Come on I always tell you my date ideas!"

"That's because you couldn't keep a secret even if you tried."

"You're a jerk."

"I know. Close your eyes." Logan furrowed his eyebrows and turned to look at Kendall but he kept his eyes on the road.

"What?"

"Close your eyes." Logan let out a huff but did what Kendall asked. When he felt the car come to a stop he waited for Kendall to come to the other side of the car to get him to get out. Kendall held Logan by his hand as he led them forward. They walked for a few minutes before they stopped.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"No." Logan let out a sigh and waited with his arms crossed over his chest. He felt Kendall wrap his arm around his waist then his other hand came up to cup his face. "Open your eyes." Logan slowly opened his eyes and stared into Kendall's. He'd been waiting so long to figure out where they were going but as he stared into Kendall's eyes he didn't care. Eventually he looked away and let out a small gasp.

"Wow." They were standing at the top of a plateau looking over the ocean. It was already getting close to sunset so the sky was a beautiful shade of pinks, purples, and reds. When he looked around Logan noticed a large blanket behind them with a picnic basket on top. Logan turned back to Kendall with a large smile and pulled him into a tight embrace. "This is amazing Kendall." Kendall smiled and pulled Logan into a kiss. When he pulled away he leaned his forehead against Logan's and rubbed their noses together.

"Anything for you. Happy anniversary Logan. I love you."

"I love you too."

13 years later:

Kendall smiled and placed the picture on the nightstand facing the bed. It had been so long since he thought about that day and it only made him miss Logan more.

"Kendall?" Kendall turned around when he heard Jo's voice. She appeared at the entrance to their room a few seconds later. "You unpacked." She moved to the other side of the bed and placed her messenger back on it. She let out a sigh as she shrugged out of her jacket and stepped out of her shoes.

"Yep." Jo moved to the other side of the bed and pecked Kendall on the lips.

"Thank you." Kendall smiled as he watched Jo look past him at the nightstand. She took a second to scan the pictures before a frown formed on her face. "You don't have any pictures of us." Kendall let out a sigh and stepped a few feet away from Jo.

"No but if you give me a picture of us I can put it with the rest."

"Ok… so you don't see the problem here." Kendall ran his fingers through his hair.

"What problem."

"You have a picture of you and Logan but not you and your future wife."

"Jo we've talked about this."

"Yes, and I understand you still love him but what are people going to think when they ask you about this picture? Are you really going to tell them it's of you and your soul mate!"

"I'm not going to get rid of it!" Jo made an annoyed sound and rubbed her face with her hands.

"It's one thing to have pictures of You, James, Carlos, and Logan but it's a different story if it's just you and Logan!"

"Your being ridiculous Jo it's just a picture!"

"No its not! It's never just a picture! You act like your relationship with Logan was perfect and you wave it around like some teenage movie romance!"

"I never said our relationship with Logan was perfect! But I have told you that he is a part of my life and you're going to have to except that!"

"Whatever!" Jo walked past Kendall and left the room. He let out a heavy sigh as he plopped down on the bed. Jo was being ridiculous and Kendall was getting tired of it. He never said he never fought with Logan. They both had their share of arguments. Most of them were Kendall's fault and he couldn't even remember most of them but there was one he could never forget.

11 years ago:

"Logan you here?" Kendall walked into his and Logan's room to find Logan asleep. He walked over and began shaking Logan's shoulder as he sat down. "Come on baby wake up." Logan turned so he was looking up at Kendall. He rubbed his eyes with his hands and stretched his muscles before wincing in pain. "You ok." Logan nodded and looked away. It had been a month since they first found out about Logan and it hadn't been easy. Kendall was constantly worried and never left Logan's side. He was so afraid of losing Logan and he also wanted to help Logan have a full life.

"What's up Kendall?"

"I was thinking we could do something today. We have the day off and if I recall you've always wanted to go to six flags." Kendall was smiling but it fell when he noticed the frown of Logan's face.

"I don't know Kendall I'm not feeling up to it."

"But Logan… you know you're not going to get any better. You shouldn't stay cooped up inside all day." Logan sat up and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know but I just don't want to today ok."

"Ok… maybe we can do something else. How about a nice relaxing day at the beach. If you feel up to it we can get surfing lessons. You've always wanted to do that."

"No Kendall I just want to stay here."

"But Logan…" Logan stood up and let out an annoyed sigh. He stepped a few feet away then turned to face Kendall.

"I said no Kendall!" Kendall stood up and walked over to Logan. He took his hand in his and just stared into his eyes.

"Logan what's wrong you can talk to me." Logan separated from Kendall and ran his fingers through his hair. He started pacing before he spoke.

"I just want you to stop! Just stop trying to get me to do all of these things! Stop trying to get me to bungee jump or sky dive or get surfing lessons! I don't want to have to take everything I've ever wanted and do it all at once! Those are supposed to be things that I can do one day. I'm supposed to have a future! I'm not supposed to die!" Logan let out a sob as tears began to stream done his face. He shut his eyes tightly and wrapped his arms around himself. Eventually he opened his eyes again and stared pleadingly at Kendall.

"Logan…"

"I don't want to die Kendall! I don't want to die!" Kendall pulled Logan into his arms and held him as tightly as he could. "I-I'm so scared K-Kendall." Kendall tightened his hold around Logan. He kissed the side of his head and whispered soothingly to him as he cried. Kendall could feel tears coming to his eyes as well.

"I'm here Logan. I always will be." Logan pulled away from Kendall's chest so he could stare into his eyes.

"Kendall… can you do something… for me?"

"Of course." Logan dropped his gaze and began to run his fingers over Kendall's chest.

"Make love to me." Kendall had to strain to hear but he didn't miss what Logan said and it shocked him.

"I don't know Logan." Logan cupped Kendall's face. Tears were still streaming down his face.

"Please Kendall. I told you I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life and whether we want to admit it or not… I don't have that long. Just… let me give all of myself to you." Kendall hesitated for a moment before nodding. He wiped Logan's eyes before pulling him into a soft kiss. Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and walked him towards the bed. He gently laid Logan down and positioned himself between Logan's legs. When their lips parted Kendall moved to kissing and sucking on Logan's neck. Logan let out a moan and wrapped his legs around Kendall's waist in order to bring their hips closer together. They both let out deep moans as their hips moved together. While they continued to thrust against each other Kendall ran his fingers under Logan's shirt. He could feel Logan's skin and muscles twitch with every touch and squeeze. When he couldn't get any higher Kendall lifted himself off of Logan so he could pull off his shirt. Logan grabbed the hem of Kendall's shirt and tugged it off as well.

As soon as Kendall's shirt was off Logan moved his fingers over his pecks and shoulders. He leaned forward and softly placed butterfly kisses over every inch of Kendall's chest. When he reached Kendall's neck he sucked and nipped leaving a small purple mark. Kendall let out a moan and ran his fingers through Logan's hair. He tugged lightly to get Logan's attention so he could fit their lips together. While Kendall forced his tongue into Logan's mouth he pushed him backwards so he was lying flat on his back again. Logan moaned into the kiss as their tongues ran over each other. He reached down to Kendall's belt and took it off as quickly as he could. When it was finally undone he unzipped Kendall's pants and stopped. Kendall pulled away and reached down to undo Logan's pants. They kept eye contact as he undid the belt and dragged down the zipper. Kendall slowly moved his hand to the waistline of his pants and slowly pulled them down and off. Logan watched him as he threw the pants on the floor then pulled Logan's pants off as well.

When Logan's pants hit the floor they stared at each other for a moment. They were both breathing heavily and sweat was already visible on their bodies. Kendall leaned forward so he was hovering over Logan.

"I love you." Kendall placed his hand on Logan's chest taking note of the way his breath hitched.

"I love you too." Logan let out a moan as Kendall tweaked and pinched his nipple. Kendall bent down toward the other nipple and kissed it before taking it into his mouth. Logan leaned into Kendall's touch while running his fingers threw Kendall's hair. When Kendall nipped his nipple Logan whimpered and tugged on Kendall's hair.

"You ok?" Logan swallowed hard and nodded his head.

"Don't stop." Kendall smirked and traced a line of kisses further down Logan's body. When he reached his pelvis Kendall licked his pelvic line but stopped just short of his member. "Kendall please." Logan fisted the sheets and whimpered as Kendall spread his legs farther and began kissing his inner thigh. When Kendall felt he tortured Logan enough he leaned forward and licked the pre cum off the head of Logan's cock. Logan let out a long moan as Kendall took most of his erection into his mouth. He sucked and ran his tongue over it while he lifted his fingers towards Logan's mouth. Logan swallowed before taking Kendall's fingers into his mouth. When Kendall moaned at the feel of Logan sucking his fingers Logan's hips jerked and his eyes rolled back. He was so close it only took Kendall sticking his tongue into the slit to make him come. Logan's back arched as several spurts of cum filled Kendall's mouth. When he finally came down from his orgasm Logan registered Kendall poking at his entrance.

Logan flinched when Kendall pushed his finger inside. Kendall stopped for a moment and waited for Logan to relax more before he started to move his finger in and out. When Logan continued to let out whimpers of pain Kendall used his other hand and began stroking Logan's member.

"Maybe we should stop Logan."

"N-no." It hurt a little but Logan could feel pleasure behind it. "Keep going." Kendall nodded and noticed Logan's entrance was loose enough to add a second finger. He pushed in slowly and searched for Logan's prostate. When he finally found it Logan's back arched and he screamed Kendall's name. Kendall began to move his fingers in and out while stretching Logan. When he was finally ready he pulled out and kissed away Logan's whimper. Kendall spit on his hand and rubbed his member. He moaned at his own touch and aligned himself with Logan's entrance. He waited for Logan's approval before leaning forward and slowly pushed in.

"You ok?" Logan's body was tense and his hands were bald up into tight fists. He took in a few deep breaths before becoming more relaxed.

"I'm fine. Move." Kendall nodded and laid flush against Logan. He attached their lips together as he slowly pulled out then pushed back in. After a few thrusts Logan broke away from the kiss and let out a long moan. "Harder." Kendall nodded and pecked Logan's lips before he leaned up on his hands and gave an experimental hard thrust. Logan's went wide and his body jolted. Kendall thought he had hurt him until Logan urged him to go even faster and harder. Kendall picked up a fast pace and was plowing into Logan. Logan was gripping his arms tightly as he continued to moan Kendall's name.

"God you're so beautiful." Kendall leaned forward and attached his lips to Logan as he picked up the pace. He could feel Logan's entrance convulsing around him with every hit to Logan's prostate. They were both panting and moaning as Kendall's thrusts became more erratic. With one more hard thrust Logan arched his back and screamed Kendall's name. His hips jerked and withered as he came hard. Kendall continued to thrust lengthening Logan's orgasm but it became too much. Kendall thrust one more time before he came inside Logan. His hips stuttered and he let out a deep moan as he finished his orgasm. Exhausted Kendall pulled out and collapsed next to Logan. He pulled him to his chest and kissed the top of Logan's head.

"I love you Kendall." Kendall tightened his grip around Logan and smiled.

"I love you too."

11 years later:

That had been one of Logan's worst moments but it was also an unforgettable moment for the both of them. It had been the first time they ever made love to each other and the last. It was a miracle that Kendall was able to console Logan after he broke like that. Kendall let out a sigh and glanced toward the door. He couldn't believe he just had that argument with Jo and what he really couldn't believe was that it wasn't the first time. Jo's jealousies over Kendall's feelings for Logan were starting to get out of hand and Kendall wasn't sure what to do about it. How could he reassure Jo that he did care for her without forgetting about his love for Logan? There honestly wasn't anything that Kendall could do and he just hoped Jo would understand that.

Present time:

"Was it a fight like that that broke your guys up?" Kendall let out a sigh and nodded.

"It shouldn't have been what it was but it wasn't something simple. In my opinion Jo crossed the line. She asked me to do something I just couldn't do and it was the last straw for her.

50 years ago:

Kendall walked towards his car and let out a long sigh. He had just come back from a meeting with his team and they were already talking about his retirement. He probably only had a few years left before he would have to stop playing and he knew it was going to suck. He wasn't that old and now he was going to have to find something else to do for the years he had left. He still had a few things left to do but there was only one thing on Kendall's mind. Today was Logan's birthday. Every year there were three days Kendall would sneak away and visit Logan's grave. Those days consisted of Logan's birthday, their anniversary, and the anniversary of Logan's death. He didn't care what he was supposed to do he never missed those dates. He even skipped out on a hockey game but he didn't care.

When Logan returned home Jo was just getting out of her car. She smiled once she saw Kendall pulling up and waited for him before going inside.

"Hey I just dropped Angela off at Nikki's house and Claire and Bryan are still at the sitter's house." Kendall nodded and opened the door for Jo. Angela was their oldest at nine while their twins Claire and Bryan were 7. When they were both inside Kendall went straight to the kitchen so he could make himself lunch before he went to visit Logan. "So I was thinking we should go out to dinner tonight. It's been ages since we spent the night together." Kendall let out a sigh. Of course she forgot but he could understand that. She stopped caring about Logan a long time ago. She probably didn't even remember what he looked like and Kendall resented her for that.

That was the reason why they haven't spent time together in years. They were beginning to hate each other and their marriage was falling about.

"I can't today." Jo furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why not." Kendall let out a sigh but didn't say anything. The silence told Jo everything. She let out a sigh and ran her fingers through her hair. "Kendall you can't be serious. It's not going to hurt anyone if you miss one day." Kendall shook his head and turned towards Jo.

"I promised Logan I would never forget him and this is proof. I have to go."

"How the hell is he going to know he's dead!" Kendall shook his head and stepped past Jo to walk into the bedroom. Jo walked in right behind him. "I'm really getting sick of this! You have an obligation to your family! I'm tired of coming second to Logan! We should come first!"

"I told you at the very beginning Logan came first and would always come first!" Jo scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That doesn't even make any sense Kendall! Logan is dead! You're never going to see him again! There is no after life! He isn't watching over you! He's gone!"

"You don't know anything!"

"It's the truth and you have to deal with it! Forget about Logan! He doesn't exist anymore!" Kendall's jaw tightened. He turned away from Jo and looked at the picture of him and Logan on the nightstand.

"I think you should go pick up the twins."

"Kendall I'm not finished we are still…"

"GET OUT!" Jo was shocked by Kendall's sudden outburst. She took in a stuttering breath before turning and walking away from Kendall. Kendall let out a sigh as the front door slammed shut.

Present time:

"I never went back to the house after that. When Jo returned all my belongings were gone. I moved in with Carlos for a few months then found my own apartment. The divorce was finalized a year later. My children blamed me for the divorce and I can't deny it. It was my fault but it was also because I refused to loss my Love for Logan." Cecilia thought about what her grandfather had told her but she still didn't completely understand. It was a shame what happened to Logan but she still didn't understand why he just couldn't let it go.

She stood up suddenly and took Julia's hand. "I think it's about time for us to leave." Kendall let out a sigh and nodded. The two girls said their goodbyes and left. Kendall stood slowly and walked over to the window. He stood there thinking for a few minutes before he heard a voice behind him.

"Those two get bigger and bigger each time I see them." Kendall chuckled and turned around.

"What took you too so long?" James laughed.

"We're old Kendall. Walks last longer than they used to. Plus Carlos drove his scooter into a group of teenagers."

"Hey they were in the way." The three men laughed before they fell into a comfortable silence. Kendall's smile disappeared and he let out a sigh.

"James… Carlos it's getting to that time." Carlos and James furrowed their eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying that my days are numbered… I can feel it."

"Don't say that Kendall. You still have some good years left. We're the strongest bunch of old men out there." Kendall smiled at Carlos but shook his head.

"I know Carlos but he's calling to me. At first it was just a whisper but now… he's calling to me and I'm going to go to him." James and Carlos looked at each other. They didn't want to think about Kendall dying no matter how old they were.

James and Kendall turned to Carlos when they realized he was trying to stand. One of the nurses ran to his side.

"Mr. Garcia you might hurt yourself." Carlos waved the nurse away. He stood up on shaky legs and walked over to Kendall.

"You're my best friend Kendall. My brother. I'm going to miss you." Kendall pulled Carlos into a tight hug. When he pulled away he smiled.

"I'll miss you to but we'll see each other again." Carlos nodded and moved back to sit down. James approached Kendall next with a smile.

"We've had some great times you and me. An 85 year friendship holds a lot of memories." James placed his hand on Kendall's shoulder. "Don't ever forget them… my brother."

"Never will." When James stepped away Kendall raised his finger to his nose and smirked. James and Carlos looked at each other and smiled as they touched their noses as well.

"It's been a long time since we've done this." Kendall nodded at James.

"I'll never forget you… Knights of prank-dom."

…..

"We're home mom!" Cecilia walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. Her mother was busy cooking their dinner.

"You were gone long." Angela glanced at her daughter for a second.

"Grandpa told me… about Logan and about his divorce with grandma." Angela stopped what she was doing to look at her daughter. "It was sad what happened but it still doesn't make sense to me. Why didn't he just let go."

"You'll understand some day." Cecilia let out an annoyed sigh making her mom look at her.

"Why do you keep saying that? Grandpa said it too." Angela let out a sigh and placed her hand on Cecilia's head.

"I was just like you. I couldn't understand either and your grandfather said that to me. I thought he was being crazy but I understood everything… the moment I fell in love." Angela went back to cooking to allow her daughter to think about what she told her. Before either of them could say anything else the phone rang. Angela walked over and answered it.

"Hello." She let out a small gasp. "Thank you we'll be there soon."

"What's wrong?" Angela grabbed her coat and keys.

"Your grandfather had a stroke."

….

When they got to the nursing home Kendall was lying on his bed with James and Carlos on either side. Cecilia, Angela and Julia slowly approached.

"How is he?"

"He has a few minutes left at most." Angela felt a few tears fall. She moved to Kendall's side and looked him over before taking his hand. He looked so fragile lying in bed. He was so different from the man engraved into her memory. But she realized quickly that even that Kendall was a different Kendall. He was a less enthusiastic Kendall and a less happy Kendall. She realized when she grew up just how much he was hurting without Logan around. Even though Kendall's death hurt her greatly she knew that he would be free and happy again. Kendall deserved it. He deserved love considering his lived a whole lifetime without it.

Everyone looked up at the heart monitor attached to him as it began to slow. James wrapped his arm around Carlos and said his final goodbyes to one of the best friends he's ever had. After a few more seconds it slowed to a stop and he was gone.

….

Kendall opened his eyes and found himself watching his friends and family. They were standing around him while they cried. James had his arm over Carlos' shoulder while Julia held onto Cecilia. Kendall smiled at them and said a finally goodbye before he walked away. He could feel a force pulling him and found walking to be easier. He passed a mirror as he walked down the hall and noticed his hair was returning and it was turning back to its golden color. As he continued his trek the years seemed to melt away. He dropped his cane and stood to his full height and continued forward. He came to the front double doors and noticed a light coming from it. He let out a breath a grabbed the handle. When he turned the knob and opened the door he was consumed by a light.

_I'm coming home  
I'm coming home  
tell the World I'm coming home  
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday  
I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes  
I'm coming home, I'm coming home  
tell the World that I'm coming (I'm coming home by Dirty Money)_

"What took you so long?" When the light faded Kendall was surrounded by fields of green. He glanced down at himself and saw the years had faded. He was 16 again. When he looked up his breath caught in his throat. Logan was standing in front of him with a huge smile on his face. Kendall stepped forward and cupped Logan's face. He looked deep into the eyes he missed so much and ran his hands over Logan's neck, shoulders, chest, and back. He couldn't believe that Logan was standing in front of him again.

Logan reached his hand up and cupped Kendall's face. He leaned their foreheads together and smiled. "You had me waiting so long I thought you weren't coming." Kendall smiled at Logan's pout and let out a chuckle.

"I'm sorry you're not mad at me are you?" Logan laughed and shook his head.

"Of course not." Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and pulled him closer as their lips crashed together. When they pulled away Kendall had the biggest smile of his life on his face. He was home.

…

15 years later:

Cecilia stood in front of the grave she's visited countless times with a sad smile. It had been years since Kendall told her about Logan but she never forgot. Now he was resting peacefully next to the grave of his love with James and Carlos right next to them.

"You were right. I understand now. I did need to fall in love to understand. When I thought of the pain I would feel if I lost Jackson." Cecilia shook her head. "I just could never handle it and I would never let go either. I'm just happy you two are together again." Cecilia stepped away from the grave and took her husband's hand. She glanced back towards the four graves with a smile before walking off. She would never forget them and she would never forget Kendall and Logan and she would pass on their story so their love would never die.

**Bonus:**

Kendall was the first to wake the next morning. There was a chill in the air that sent shivers down his spin. He looked around the room and found Carlos and James sleeping on the floor. They were definitely going to be sore when he woke up. That was only a fleeting thought though when he finally glanced at the still form lying against him. Kendall could see that his chest was still and his face was paler than usual. He slowly sat up in bed and let tears roll down his cheeks unchecked as he looked over his eternally sleeping love.

"I love you Logan." Kendall leaned down and gently kissed Logan's forehead. After another second he slowly crawled out of bed and knelt next to James. He shook his should a few times until James opened his eyes with a groan. As soon as James noticed Kendall's tears he shot up and glanced at the bed. He knew this was coming but to actually see Logan was a shock to his system.

While James crawled closer to the bed Kendall shook Carlos awake. Like James he quickly sat up and crawled over to the bed. Out of all the emotions he felt at the moment was guilt.

"I can't believe I fell asleep." Carlos covered his face with his hands and let out a sob. "I should have been there for him when he passed." Kendall wrapped an arm around Carlos and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"You were here Carlos."

"He wasn't in pain was he?" Kendall bit his lip and shook his head.

"No Carlos… he was fine." Kendall stood up and left Carlos and James in the bedroom. He walked to the kitchen and found Mrs. Knight making breakfast. He couldn't help the small sob he let out when he saw the four plates on the counter. "Mom." Mrs. Knight turned around and gasped when she saw Kendall. He didn't need to say anything. She already knew. She quickly moved to him and pulled him into a tight hug. She could feel her own eyes sting with tears at hearing the sounds of Kendall's desperate sobs.

"It's going to be ok Kendall." He attempted at consoling Kendall went unheard. There wasn't anything that would lessen his suffering. Logan was gone.


End file.
